:( It Only Makes Me Stronger

I'm very sorry I haven't posted in awhile. But I've been having serious back, stomach and shoulder pain. So to any of you whom have been worried, I am okay in the sense that I'm not in the hospital or worse.

Lately I've been feeling lonely and depressed. It makes sense that I've been depressed because anyone going through this should be somewhat depressed or there's something else wrong with them. Not to mention the face that I've had a history of depression. But you'd think I shouldn't feel lonely because of all the support I'v been getting. But the problem is that the people closest to me have taken a few steps away from me. Some of my friends have been hit hard by this. I get that, I really do, but I don't get to runaway from this so neither should they. I feel alone, separated from even my own family. I feel like I'm the odd one out, like I'm a square block trying to fit into the circle hole. I just can't seem to understand and fit in with them and vise versa. 

The definition of a best friend to me has always been, someone who loves you for who you are, is part of your family and most importantly will be there for you no matter what, night or day, no questions asked. 
I know I'd do that for any of my friends... but would they do that for me?

I will try to post more often. But no promises because I never know how I'll feel.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me. 

I need some good books to read. Comment any that you'd recommend.

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