Wednesday, May 27, 2015

A Little Bit of Good News

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been spending most of free time sleeping or feeling depressed.

I have a little bit of good news to share. Two weeks ago I finished chemo and yesterday I found eyebrow stubble. If you think that sounds weird, you are extremely right. But the good news doesn't stop there. After a good half-way PET scan result, it is recommended that you have just a CT scan at the end of chemo. Otherwise you could start chasing something that actually isn't cancer but that lights up because of high activity, such as the brain or the heart. The doctors are pretty sure that the cancer is gone, but we have to wait until the CT scan to confirm that. But just because the cancer is gone, doesn't mean I'm suddenly all better. It will take anywhere from 3-6 months for me to feel back to normal.

So now that I'm recovering Mortimer Dorkus. My doctors and I are trying to figure out ways for my constant headache to be relieved. For those of you who don't know, May 28th of last year I sustained my fourth concussion and have had a constant 6/7 out of 10 headache ever since. I was not able to go to school, so I was put on home bound school with a substitute teacher from school district tutoring me a few times a week. And it actually worked out well when I got Mortimer Dorkus because I didn't have to worry about missing school.

So all in all, I feel pretty crappy right now. I;m having back pain still and the changes in weather haven't been helping my headache at all.

Thanks for reading my blog. I will try to post more often.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

:( It Only Makes Me Stronger

I'm very sorry I haven't posted in awhile. But I've been having serious back, stomach and shoulder pain. So to any of you whom have been worried, I am okay in the sense that I'm not in the hospital or worse.

Lately I've been feeling lonely and depressed. It makes sense that I've been depressed because anyone going through this should be somewhat depressed or there's something else wrong with them and I've had a history of depression. But you'd think I shouldn't feel lonely because of all the support I'v been getting. But the problem is that the people closest to me have taken a few steps away from me. Some of my friends have been hit hard by this. I get that, I really do, but I don't get to runaway from this so neither should they. I feel alone, separated from even my own family. I feel like I'm the odd one out, like I'm a square block trying to fit into the circle hole. I just can't seem to understand and fit in with them and vise versa. 

The definition of a best friend to me has always been, someone who loves you for who you are, is part of your family and most importantly will be there for you no matter what, night or day, no questions asked. 
I know I'd do that for any of my friends...

I will try to post more often. But no promises because I never know how I'll feel.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me. 

I need some good books to read. Comment any that you'd recommend.