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Showing posts from February, 2015

Another Day Another Few Handfuls of Hair

Yep you guessed it! My hair is falling out. It started Monday evening when I was brushing out my hair after my shower. Handfuls of hair would come out in my brush. I was in tears because this makes it all real. By losing my hair, people can tell I have cancer. But I'm going to take control of it and get it shaved off sometime within the week.

My mom and I were looking online at wigs and hats on the big screen TV/computer today. Did you know you can get a hat with hair attached to it? I think I'll pass on that.

Today I'm getting my fourth dose of rituxan. I'm so glad I only have two weeks left of that.

My bone pain, which the doctors think is caused by the shot they gave me, isn't much better than it was. So the doctors are giving me long lasting morphine. That's right! I'm getting morphine. I really hope it helps.

So I have the best dad in the world. You know how I've been eating burgers lately? well, my dad was kind enough to go to Fuddruckers and get me a…

Aching Bad Day

So I haven't been really in the mood to sit and type this weekend. But I'm going to try. As some of you saw earlier today I am getting tired of feeling broken. I just feel like my world is literally falling to pieces, not to mention me, personally. The rituxan, I mentioned a few posts ago, makes me feel achy in my bones and muscles but to make it worse I get a shot to help boost my blood cells which causes even more aching. Basically my weekend was spent laying in bed or on the sofa. Every time I got up, I regretted it so much. Nothing helps, not even the medicine or pain pellets as my sister calls them. 

This weekend I decided on the foods I want to eat. They are mac and cheese, baked ziti, cheeseburgers and milkshakes, preferably a shamrock shake from McDonald's. I never really used to like mac n' cheese but now it's my love. It's kind of scary what the chemo can do to a person. Next thing that will happen is I'll like oranges. Haha! I crack myself up.

Ye…

Chemo Fun

This morning I endured a hour long car ride through the countryside. It's a good thing I was half asleep or we would have needed a barf bucket. We didn't arrive until almost 9am, which set us back. And to top it off, my room got changed. Instead of room 25 like usual I'm in room 15.

I always tired and sore. This isn't supposed to happen until you're old and gray like my mom. '

Enough about my mom. Today I'm going to talk about my siblings. I have a little sister and a younger brother. My sister and I are adjoined at the hip. My brother and I, not so much. My brother refused to talk to me, or even look at me the week after I told him about my diagnosis. My sister on the other hand treats me the same. If I ask her for help she'll try and barter with me. For instance, the other day I asked her to get me a cup of water. She said only if I turned on a song for her on TV. I was very tired and thirsty so I agreed. But my sister is so sweet. She does kid writing …

I Feel Like A Crap Bag

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Well, lets start off by saying Happy Presidents Day! I mean, do people actually celebrate this? Like do people have a cake with all the presidents on it? Well, i know all students celebrate the day off school by sleeping til noon or binge watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. And if you don't, you should probably see a doctor. 

Well, I for one enjoyed sleeping practically all day. Even my siblings respected the day off school rituals by binge watching their own shows as well as letting me sleep. 
Just in the past few days, I have realized I have the best friends ever from scavenger hunts at Walmart to texts everyday and phone calls while I'm at the hospital. I love you guys more than you know. I may not always see them, but I know they are here for me when I need them. 

Today, well actually right now, my best friend who we'll call Burger King came to visit me today. She goes to a different school than me so we rarely see each other. Lots of times I'll be found in tears when th…

Valentine's Day

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Good morning! Oh, wait it's actually the afternoon. That's what happens when you don''t fall asleep until 2am and sleep until 10:30 am. This happened because I am having terrible pain in my joints.I try to be strong and not admit when I don't feel good. But right now I feel like crap. But this makes sense because my blood counts went from 6,000 to 2,000 after my first chemo treatment. That's okay though, I can continue having chemo unless my counts go below 750.

Today hasn't been all bad though. I have the best family because this morning my mom, brother and sister drove up to Hershey to pick up my medication for my joint pain. And on the way home they stopped at the store. My sister got me a huge Valentine's dog, cupcake bake sale type thing and a little Valentine's bear. My brother got me stuff to tie-dye shirts, every color he could find. And my mom got me big sourdough pretzels. 

Tonight I'm supposed to be going to a Galentine's day party …

It Feels Like My Birthday!

Right now I am getting the Rituxan drug, as of right now I'm not having a reaction to the dug. But someone down the hall is having a reaction and another little boy is not vey happy according to his screaming.

I've noticed the clinic and the hospital have a distinct smell, it's not good but it's not bad. The smell stays on you and everything you have with you after you leave. Some of you know I have a little blanket from when I was a baby that I can't live without. Well when I got home from the hospital, I had to wash sniffy, that's my blanket, almost three times just to remove the smell.

Have any of you received communion while in the hospital? Well, I have and I must say it is very weird. But since I can't attend church weekly now because my immune system is compromised, my good friend Fr. Richard brings me communion every Monday. This week our visit was cut short because he had to go bury some lady who had no family coming to the burial. In the words of Fr…

I'm Okay

This past Thursday I started chemo, four crappy drugs with 4 billion crappy side effects. There was a red liquid that they had to push in the iv, a clear liquid they pushed in the iv and two clear liquids they infused like normal. The symptoms from these drugs vary from flu-like symptoms to hair loss. I was fine right after the drugs were infused so I was able to leave the hospital and come home. On the way home I became a little nauseous leading me to not eat dinner and lay on the couch all night.

Yesterday I was feeling okay. I was very tired so I slept until 9:30ish and than took a nap from about 11:30- 2. At 6 last night I decided I was going to the ignite girl's night. I felt as though I had to put on an act because I didn't want anyone to feel bad for me. But while I was there a few of my friends were having an interesting conversation about hair. They were talking about how they could cut it short, color it or even shave it off. The conversation made me a little uncomfor…

A Bump in the Road

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This morning I arrived at the hospital just before 8 for my first chemo session. My stomach was in so many knots that all I could eat were cucumbers. Last night I was stressing so much about what I was going to wear. I made my dad go out at 10 last night and by me more sweatpants and t-shirts. For those of you who know me, know clothes are the last thing I pay attention to. As long as I'm comfortable, I'm good.

So this morning before I got any drugs they had to access my port. In order for it to not hurt, my mom has to put a numbing cream on it. But this being my first time, my mom had no idea how much to put on. So when we got here we realized she only put a quarter of what she was supposed to use. The nurse put more cream on and I had to wait an hour until they could access the port. Once they finally did they gave me Benadryl and tylenol and a new drug called Rituximab which has a lot of side effects including, flu-like symptoms, itching and a tickle in the throat or a feeli…

Take 2

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So today I was able to complete my PET scan. Thank God for drugs! My dad even let me choose what was on TV, but at 8 in the morning we got stuck with That 70's shows. I mean it could have been worse, it could have been Dora the Explorer. When they came to get me for the scan, I closed my eyes and had them lead me to the table. There was no way I was going face to face with the machine today.

After my scan I was basically running on adrenaline or the fact that I beat the scan. But I was still a little loopy afterwards. When I went to breakfast I was playing in the whip cream and chocolate syrup on my pancakes. You can decide if that's normal me or me on drugs. After breakfast on the way back home I was out when we turned out of the Bob Evan's parking lot. My parent's had to wake me up when we got home. But I went right back to sleep when I got inside and slept until 3:10 this afternoon.

My dad told me that I was more relaxed today, even before I got the medicine. And for …