Earlier this week my life changed in an instant. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma, a curable cancer in the lymphatic system. To say this was a shock is a huge understatement. At first I didn't know what to say or do, it may have been the first time I was ever speechless. But now I've sort of been in denial, like if I don't say it, it's not happening. And when I do tell people, I don't feel any connection to the words. I'm just going through the motions. People ask me what they can do and I don't know how to answer because it just doesn't feel real.
My biggest fear was how I would tell my friends and that they'd suddenly treat me differently. But I learned that you just have to come out and say it. I texted my best friend to see if we could talk, sooner rather than later. At that point, I'm pretty sure a million different scenarios went though her head, none of them what really happened. She replied asking why I couldn't just text it. I told her it was something that needed to be shared in person. So later that evening I showed up at her doorstep. I sat on the couch and told her mom she should stay in the general area. And I just said it. I also added I didn't want them to treat me differently. She and her mom jokingly replied, "Oh, were you expecting us to teat you nicely? Cause we're still going to be mean as ever."
Some of my other friends choked back tears when I told them. Others were at a loss of words like me.
I've found that writing how I feel has helped me cope with this news. It's easier for me to write things than say things sometimes, especially now.
I may have been diagnosed with Hodgkin's, but I'm still the same person I was a week ago.